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Psychology
A man forgot his wife's birthday, and his wife was
very mad at him.
He immediately bought a bouquet of roses and put a note in it.
The note read:
'Darling, how do you expect me to remember
your birthday
when you never look any older?'
Two friends were at a bar.
"What do we do next?" asked Mike.
"Let me think..." said John. "Hey, I've got an idea.
We can go to my
place and have sex with my wife."
"Well," smiled Mike, "if you insist." So they went to John's house.
Unfortunately, John's wife wasn't at home.
"Damn!" said John. "She must have gone shopping. Tell
you what, don't be
disappointed, let's go to your house!"
A young finance agent successfully convinced a
tough customer to pay off the outstanding debts.
"Great job!" said the finance director. "How did you do it?"
"Easy," he replied, "I told him if he didn't pay up,
I'd tell all his
other creditors that he paid us."
A grocer put up a sign that read: 'Eggs - 25¢ each;
three for a dollar.'
Since then, all his customers came in complaining,
"Don't fool me, I should get four for a dollar!"
Finally his wife said, "John, you should fix the mistake on your sign!"
He replied,
"But no one ever bought more than one egg before I put up that sign!"
Mary said to her neighbor,
"Don’t tell me you believe your husband’s story that he spent the day
fishing. Why? Because he didn’t come home with a single fish."
And the neighbor replied, "That’s why I believe him!"
Cindy walked into a post office, an office clerk
noticed the
beautiful diamond earrings her husband had just given her.
"Those must be real diamonds," he said.
"Yes, they are," Cindy was thrilled that he'd noticed. "How could you
tell?"
"Well," he said, "no one buys fake diamonds that small."
A woman went to the concession stand and asked for
a beer,
but a young clerk there wanted to see verification of age.
"You've got to be kidding," she said. "I'm almost 40 years old."
He apologized, but he said he had to see some ID, it was policy.
So the woman showed the clerk her driver's
license,
and he finally served her the beer.
"That will be $6.25, please," he said.
She gave him $7.00 and told him to keep the change.
"The tip is for carding me," she said, with a smile.
As the woman walked away, the clerk murmured, "It works every time."
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